A better place ???

A Better Place




So she’s in a better place is she?

I wonder how you know.

She’s not with me or with her dad

So how could this be so.



How can we know she’s happy?

How can this strange thing be?

How can it be a better thing?

If she’s not with her Dad and me?



This home we readied for her

Was prepared for her to come

A cot for her, a special home

Full of love from her Dad and Mum.



How can a baby all alone

Be in a better place?

How can a family be so torn?

How do we handle this with grace?



The best place for our baby

Is right here home with us

We love her and we want her

Don’t speak lightly of her to us



She’s not in a place that’s better

That just cannot be true

She’s not here with her parents

She’s living somewhere new



Don’t tell me where our baby is

There’s no way you really know

She’s in our hearts forever

Through her our love will always flow.

Ruby-Faith my angel

You know I had our Ruby-Faith She was sweet and pretty and pure


We lost her oh so close to life It cut us to the core

I won’t talk to you of milestones Or of how her life has been

‘Cause we lost her on her first day hereSo though we love her she can’t be seen

She’s up on high among the stars She’s waiting for us there

She’s watching down with eyes that shineShe’s a baby that just can’t be here

I won’t brag to you of first teeth Or of walking, or of talk

But I’ll tell you that we loved herAnd I’ll trust you know it hurts

I won’t ring you up on Sunday And tell you this week she said “Dad”

I won’t laugh with you when she toddlesI’ll just say missing this stuff is sad

I won’t wish she’d learn to eat Without spreading lunch across her face

Or enjoy her splashing in the bath‘Cause she’s a baby in a special place

I won’t tell you of her favourite toy Or how she likes to play

Or how she says she’s met a boy And moons over him all day

I won’t tell you how she fell in love Or tell you of her plans

Or tell you that she’ll soon be wedI’ll miss seeing her wedding band

I lost my baby early And she passed away too fastI cry of it almost daily

I have only memories to make her lastBut I imagine telling you all

That I’d wished for something moreI hope you’ll understand my need

To remember her once moreThink of these words when I’m chatting

Talk of Ruby-Faith whenever you pleaseKnowing that you remember her also

Will help keep my mind at easeSo if I tell you of herIt’s only so you know

That it’s all I’ve got for my babyAnd that she’s in my heart ‘till I go

Ruby-Faith

Hi I'm Kasey 3 weeks ago this Friday i gave birth to my little angel who died in my womb at 28 weeks.My story is long but ill try to make it short......At 4 weeks pregnant i began spotting but they looked with ultrasound and said things were looking OK. At 12 weeks i had a huge bleed out where i lost almost 1litre of blood we thought this was then end but were proven wrong by ultrasound when little Ruby-Faith was in there bouncing around...At 14 weeks i had another huge bleed so back to hospital we went the dr checked me out and said sorry your baby is gone. How could she tell me this without a ultrasound so i demaned one and there Ruby-Faith was still very strong..

At 18 weeks i awoke to being lead to think it was another bleed but once i got up id realised my waters had broken . So of to hospital i went again and it was confirmed that i had broken my waters so the next day they sent us down to another hospital with better machine to check the fluid around Ruby-Faith and there was pretty much none. Our choices were put forward to us and we went home and decided we would not terminate the pregnancy we would continue along and let Ruby-Faith decide weather she wanted to fight. So here we were going to weekly scans to check on Ruby-Faith and every week they said she is fine doing better then we thought. At 22 weeks i had another slight bleed but things were still as good as they could be then again at 26 weeks. At my 27 week appointment i told them my body had, had enough and they needed to deliver my baby cos something would happen to her if they didnt( I just knew we were both so tired) They refused to listen to me so off i went home begging my patner to make them do something for me we tryed everything but still they said NO. On the 21st July 2010 Ruby-Faith was very active till i felt a big pressure pain ( Last time i felt my little angel). I thought nothing of this pain cos the DR had said Ruby-Faith was fine. The next morning i knew she had gone so into hospital i went and they confirmed that Ruby-Faith had passed away. My heart sank to my stomach and i just layed there couldn't move everything was blury. The next day 23rd July 2010 i went into deliver my little angel i was induced at around 11am and i had Ruby-Faith at 850pm weighing in at 2lb 10oz and 36 cms long. She was so perfect such a little darling looked so much like her big sister. I stayed in hospital that night and spent time with our dear little Ruby-Faith. The next night i went home and we started to plan her service visiting Ruby-Faith each day till the funeral helped me get through alot cos i just needed to see my little girl. On the 30th July 2010 we attened Ruby-Faiths service it was perfect so beautiful.We got Ruby-Faith cremated and just got her back yesterday with her hand and foot moulds. I still Cant understand why the Dr's didn't listen to me maybe if they did Ruby-Faith would have been OK i hate the fact that it seems US MOTHERS know nothing at all. I miss Ruby-Faith so much and her big sister is finding it very hard aswell but in time I'm sure we will feel better thanks for listening.

Our Babygirl

So we spent yet another long day in hospital yesterday with thoughts of my waters breaking....I had alot of test and another ultrasound which confirmed that Twister is def a girl:) Its so hard at this stage of pregnancy cos its like my baby dosent matter untill im over that 24week mark but she is just as human as them and it rips me to bits knowin that she may not make it:( There aim is for me 2 make it another 10 weeks and then if i make it that far they will let me continue with my pregnancy untill i show more complications.....
Little baby has proven that it just loves the attention and i might turn radio acctive if they keep giving me ultrasounds:)
Im so scared that ill lose my little girl i feel that im the only person she is important to i mean yea sure Dan loves her but im feeling all her little kicks all the sickness she gives me and im so scared that its all going to dissapear and ill have nothing to show for it:( I just got to pray that my babygirl can make it through this hard time and prove that she has what it takes......Any hoo i guess ill just have to pay the waiting game i dont wanna go on and on about how much it hurts cos ill just be a sook ehehehe love u all xxxx

Life as we know it

Hello My beautifuls well as most of you know life has become quite trying for me and my little family with our high risk pregnancy. It seems i have sevral blood clots behind my placenta and my cervix are not doing so great either :( Im 16 weeks on saturday so everyday is looking better and better it is a very trying time for me and its so hard to focus on the stuff i need to as i keep thinking what? Stay tuned for more info on our little Twister i have a scan on the 7th one question i guess is why cant i love my unborn baby im scared to:(

Now to Sis aka Charlotte......... Charlotte is doing so well in alot of things but struggling in others last weeek we had to pull her out of day care cos she was just way to destressed:( She seems to be going through the mummy girl bit again and its kinda annoying that if i need to pee she needs to come lol....Her talking has developed alot since we have moved house although most people may not understand her that aint in her everyday life but we get what she is saying She can now tell us what she wants juice bikky etc and oh a new one is ooooo pooo :) charming Miss Charlotte her sleepy has gone done hill since we have moved will only sleep in her cot for a few hours of a night then into bed with me so this is a big thing we need to work on with her and she knows it:)

Now to me dealing with my dear baby sisters death....Its still killing me i cry every night for her and especially for her little man that wil never know his mummy:( The driver is still roaming free out drinking and carrying on like she has done nothing wrong hello you killed her..........I think once she has been to court and has been sent to jail (hopefully) that things will start to look better for me theres just some days i think its all a dream and i go to pick the phone up to call her and see how she is doing hmmm not gunna happen some days i just dont wanna face the fact that she is gone but if i keep putting it off i guess it will never seeem real she will always have a spot in my heart and ill never forget her:)

So i guess thats about all i can say about life right now although there is alot going on i dont want to bore you all with my issues....I dont know what i would do with a few people on facebook that have helped me through al this hard time and they know who they are i love u guys big xxxxx

Our Dear Baby Twister

So a few weeks ago i find out im pregnant with our second little bubba. What a shock that was i kinda had a feeling i was but was in deny cos i believed we werent ready for another child with Charlotte been so young and still very demanding.. I did consider abortion at the start but could not bring myself to do it..
So now here i am at 11weeks 1day my dates and 10 weeks there dates and im suffering really bad morning sickness which is becoming very trying i have a baby to look after i dont have time to be sick..Damn it knew i was just made for morning sickness :( Iv been in hospital once for it already im really hoping it settles down soon so we can start to enjoy our pregnancy and of course the last few mths of it just being Charlotte i feel she will be pushed to grow up...but i just know she will make the best big sister ever...
We go for our 12week scan next Thursday which im kinda really lookin forward to cant wait to see how big our bubba has gotten since our last scan:)
Im totally thinking that we are having a little boy but i have people like Miss Lauren saying its another girl(please bitch you better not jinks me)....Just kidding we wil be happy with whatever as  long as bub is healthy.....

So stay tuned for updates and pictures of little baby Twister xxxx

Charlotte Grace - My Whole Wide World

On the 5th of January 2009 I gave birth to my daughter, Miss Charlotte Grace best day of my life by far.

My labour seemed like it went forever and when she was born she wasnt breathing. 

I was so scared that I was going to lose my baby girl, but after about 5 mins on oxygen she was fine and I got to hold my baby for the very first time.

My very first hold of Charlotte Grace.

It was the most amazing feeling that I have ever felt. We stayed at hospital for a few days and then we got to bring our baby home. I had alot of trouble breastfeeding so we went down to Dans Mums house and she helped us get through this. I expressed for the first 3 weeks of Charlottes life and I'm so happy I did cos I ended up feeding her until she was 7months old.

I have enjoyed watching my little baby grow into now a 1yr old. She is her own little person.

Motherhood has not been easy for me at all, Ive had really bad days where I havent cared about anything or anyone but Í always mangaged to pull through for Charlotte because she is my whole world and Icouldn't breath without her.

Charlotte started crawling at around 6mths and walking at 10mths and she started swimming lesson at 8mths old which she loves so much.

Charlotte Grace at 12mths of age.

My Darling Baby Sister

On the 8/9/09 my sister Simone was killed in a car crash by a driver that was speeding and on drugs

Simone was a young mum to Tyler Mark he was just 8mths old when his mother was taken from his life.

We are currently fighting for him in court which is becoming a real big mess as we are griving for her and have these cruel people that were meant to love Simone stop us from see her little boy.

The morning I was told about my 16 yr old sister was the worst day of my life.

 My heart dropped into my chest and I couldn't understand why it had happened.

 I still dont understand.

I think God just needed another angel so he took Simone, the most precious angel he will ever get.

I went to view my sisters body the night before the funeral which is probably the hardest thing Ive had to face, but Im glad I got to say goodbye because otherwise Id regret it now.

Her funeral was so sad I just cried and cried I still cry today thinking about how young she was and how her lil man now has no mother but I try to think of all the good times that me and her have had.

I cant say that I understand 4mths later why she was taken but I do know that Ill never forget her and Ill never forget her beautiful face and smile.

Ill contiue to cry for her everyday until my pain passes I dont know how Ive gotten through the last 4mths.

 I have my family and friend to thank for that.

I miss you so much Simone RIP..